I wish I knew why.. But I don’t .. There is no logical explanation or not just 1 reason why I feel like I feel.. I can go from one moment to the other being completely happy to terribly down.. I just can’t explain.. I don’t know why… At times I just look at my left arm.. and wonder if it would be terribly bad if I would start hurting myself.. I know it’s no use, I mean, it won’t solve anything, but it might help me in getting rid of these feelings I feel where I don’t know what to do with..
~my mind I see it going up and down my arm~
I don’t know what else I should write, my head’s a total mess.. Maybe I should just start by putting everything on order in my head and write from there.. But then again, I wish I knew where to start..
~ponders~
At the moment, I feel best with the song from Amanda Marshall – Beautiful Goodbye..
and secretly go sit down in a small corner..